Electric fire

Not a poem

It’s been a while since I’ve written here.

Life happened in the most delicious of unexpected ways last month and my energy needed to move elsewhere. I went with it. My energy leads my way.

But as with everything, energy waxes and wanes.

Now I find myself feeling like I need to touch something buried within…

That’s what my words are for.

What held my energy so enraptured recedes from me now… at least for the time being.

Tides flow in and out.

Breath inhales and exhales.

Such is the nature of life

I try to move with such rhythms, even as my mind reels sometimes.

Life breathed new electric fire into me, and I am trying to learn how to move anew… especially as energy shifts again.

Trying to find my own center.

Trying to learn a new me.

Because that new electric fire?

It feels like it brings a WHOLE new me.

One that has the power to be my own center… one who does not make others my center.

And yet…

That’s a whole new experience.

I still don’t know how to embody this newness in life yet.

But it is surging, and it won’t be denied.

Choosing what is for me and what isn’t based on what I need and want.

Not based on what is available…

“Offer what you will, I’ll take all that can get” … a line from an old Sarah McLachlan song… I no longer accept this.

Offer what I want or please go on your blessed merry way.

Not in anger.

Not with resentment.

But in knowing.

I choose what I allow in my life.

I decide what I experience.

All else can vibrate right out of my experience thankyouverymuch.

I will not be held captive by my own desperation and fear of being alone.

I choose me above all else.

Afterall… in the end, what else have I got but myself?!

I choose me.

And for the knowing eyes who will understand. I still see you. I still feel you. I hold space for you, even if from afar. Choose YOU, too. Feel what you feel.